I’ve decided to forget about the name on the sticky note. After much deliberation I have come to the conclusion that my biological mother gave me up for a good reason. It would only make things worse to seek her out after all of these years. I am going to leave well enough alone. Sarah is my Mom. Sarah is all I need. I have been on enough wild goose chases in my lifetime to know when I am going to come up empty handed.
When I was a teenager, I resented my little sister. She was really "their child." She spent nine months baking in Mom’s belly and was Dad’s pride and joy. Can you guess what my little sister does for a living today? You guessed right! She followed in the family business of real estate. I work at Starbuck’s and she is Dad’s right hand “man.” I love her now. I got over the jealous phase-- it wasn’t her fault who her parents were. It wasn’t like Mom treated us differently from each other anyway, she loved us equally. It was Dad. He reminded me that she would inherit the business. I pretended not to care, I had bigger and better plans for my future anyway. (Starbuck's wasn't exactly the plan back then.)
I’m interested to know what you would do if you were in my shoes? Would you throw the sticky note out and forget the name written on it? Would you just accept the fact that you’ll always be missing a day and just push on with the life that you’ve always lived? Would you search for your biological mother and seek the answers that would complete you? What would you do? I wish I knew which direction to go with this.
Who am I kidding, anyway? I can’t forget that name. I can’t throw away the sticky note. It is my first piece of history with my biological mother. Sarah may be the one who raised me, but Fawne is the one who gave me life. Fawne. I never expected my real mom to be named Fawne. I mean don’t get me wrong… It is petty. Very pretty. But what in the world would someone named Fawne do in life? It is well suited for a whimsical middle name, but a first name? That is a pretty daring choice. You have to be one cool chick to pull off the name Fawne in a world full of Nancy’s and Mary’s and Sarah’s.
Come to think of it, hearing her name made me even more interested in her story. I need to know her story in order to know my own story. I feel ridiculous for caring. What kind of macho guy goes searching for his Mommy at twenty six years old? Most guys are chasing hot girls or finally settling down by my age. I’m hoping that once I find Fawne Lewis, that I’ll be able to get back on track with my life. Who knows? Maybe I’ll call up an old girl friend and have a shot gun wedding like other guys my age. Maybe I’ll throw a wild bachelor party at a trashy strip club. Maybe I’ll call Megan Wells tomorrow, she was always fun to be around. See, with Fawne’s story and my missing day out of the way, I’ll be able to be normal again. Sarah would love to see me in love… Yes, I’ll do this for Sarah. My Mom. She deserves grandkids and my sister is too career minded to give her any in the near future. I’ll meet Fawne and then go on the hunt for a wife. It’s settled.
Tomorrow I’ll call the agency again and follow their advice for finding my biological mother, Fawne. I’ll follow the steps and I’ll find the pot of gold that awaits me. A big pile of missing hours, minutes, and seconds that add up exactly to the twenty four hours that I spent as an orphan. I’ll find my missing day, learn where I was conceived, and put it all behind me. Thanks for helping me figure this out… Really couldn’t have done it without you, pal.
