Fawne
“You not working tonight?” Judy watched as Fawne took a long drag off of a cigarette and blew out the smoke slowly and deliberately. Fawne had changed since she started working for Stew Singletary, and Judy wasn’t sure if it was for the better or not.
“Not tonight. I needed a break.” Fawne thought back to the scene that unfolded before her only a few nights before. John appeared out of nowhere and was now at the forefront of her mind. She was even sitting in her spot again. She hadn’t felt the need to sit there in several months. Unfortunately for Fawne, he was all she could think about once again.
“Well I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you, honey. Thought you went all fancy on us now that you got money to burn.” Judy wasn’t joking. Fawne made a display the week before by burning a twenty dollar bill. It was symbolic of how far she had come, but it really pissed Judy off-- she could have used that twenty dollars to get home.
Bones was spending more and more time watching Fawne strip and less and less time at home with his wife and children. Judy hoped he would see that Fawne would never settle down before it was too late. He was about two eyelash bats away from leaving poor Dianne with all eight of the little monsters that ate them out of house and home.
“Want a shot, Fawne?” Bones took care of her anytime she was there.
“No, Bones. But thank you.” Fawne tilted her head sideways and looked at him through the cloud of smoke that danced in front of her face. If she didn’t know better she would think that Bones had a little crush on her. But surely not. Bones wasn’t the type to get a crush on anybody.
“You Fawne from Stew’s?” A man slid onto the barstool in front of her. He was handsome and friendly looking, but still had an air of toughness about him.
“I am… A lot less glitter and a lot more clothes.” Fawne smiled genuinely at him, not wondering how he knew her.
“I’ve got a message for you, from John.” The man slid a piece of paper into her hand, which was already shaking at the mention of John’s name, paid his tab and left the bar.
Fawne took a deep breath and shot Judy a look. “You read it!”
Judy unfolded the little note and shook her head. “He wants to meet you at Days.”
“Days?” Fawne was above paying $39.95 a night for a hotel now. She laughed and then frowned. Why did he want to meet her? Why didn’t he come himself? Should she go?
“Well?” Judy was waiting for her decision. She knew Fawne was still gaga over this man, but also knew that Fawne had grown up a lot in the months following her baby’s birth.
“I’ll go. I still have questions I want answers for.” Fawne stood up and left without another word. Bones watched her go with longing in his eyes. He knew that John would probably be getting the very thing he was afraid to ask for. After seeing Fawne move on stage he couldn’t shake the overwhelming urge to kiss her. Yeah he was married, but not many men could resist Fawne, not even a tough tattoo covered one like him.
***
“Hi, Fawne.” John was waiting on the elevator like he used to do. The ride up was silent and strained.
“Room 321.” Fawne noticed, she spent the night in room 321 alone and scared after he ran out on her. She headed inside before him and sat down on the window sill. “What is it you want with me?”
“Well, I was in D.C. for business still and just couldn’t leave without seeing you…” John undressed Fawne with his eyes. First her long sweater, then her acid washed jeans, and next her shiny new leather keds. She was different girl from the one he left. She had a certain assurance about her that he couldn’t resist. “I wanted to see if there was any hope for us. You now to pick back up where we left off?”
Fawne laughed dramatically, wanting him to feel stupid. “Are you kidding, John?”
“No.” he shook his head.
“You left me in this room! I was pregnant and scared. You expect me to strip down and pick right back up where we left off? Really now?” Fawne felt like screaming and like crying, but did neither.
“Well then why did you even bother coming?” John finally realized that he wasn’t going to get his way.
“Because I needed answers. I thought you loved me.”
“I did. I do.” John headed toward her, seeing an opening for him to woo her with his empty promises. “I just got scared, that’s all.”
“I tell you what, you paid for the hotel, you sleep in it.” Fawne reached into her bra and pulled out a one hundred dollar bill. “This should hold you over until you get home to your wife.”
“Fawne…” John closed his eyes as the door clicked shut behind her. She really had wised up after all. John slid the one hundred dollar bill into his shirt pocket and fell back onto the bed. At least he tried.
Fawne stood frozen in the hall outside of the hotel room. She wanted to walk away and not look back, but couldn’t. John was the first man that she had ever loved. She tried to resist him, tried to be mad at him, but just couldn’t. She tapped lightly on the door and fell into John’s arms as soon as the door opened. Instead of heading home to her lavish hotel, she slept beside the man of her dreams. After the kind of night she gave him, John would have no excuse not to love her. There was no way he could resist the older and wiser version of Fawne Lewis.
“I’m sorry about the baby…” John whispered, stroking her bare arm as they cuddled. “You made the right choice in aborting it though.”
Fawne looked up at him and nodded. Even if she did love him, he didn’t have the right to know about her decision regarding the baby she gave up. Let him believe she aborted it. It wasn’t like he cared. Fawne fell asleep more confident than ever of the fact that John would never go home to his wife now. He was hers’ and together they would build the life that she hadn’t even dared to dream of before.
“Housekeeping!” there was a knock at the door.
Fawne glanced over at the clock and realized that they had slept through checkout. “John!” she called toward the bathroom as she scurried around and gathered her clothes. “John, hurry up!”
John didn’t reply. He was already at home doing his weekend yard work.
Fawne was once again reminded that nobdy wanted her. Not her Dad, not her Mom, not her Poppy and Granny, and especially not John. If she hurried she could make the lunch time shift at Stew’s. She could use some positive attention.
