Fawne
Fawne fiddled with the tattered leather bar stool, realizing that he wasn’t going to come this time. He stood her up more now than he ever did before. “Forget about him, honey,” the waitress could tell by the look on her face that she was disappointed.
“Oh, I’m not worried.” Fawne lied, sliding down from the chair and heading for the door, her hand on her growing belly.
“Need a ride?” John was coming up the sidewalk, wearing a suit and over coat.
“About time.”
“Sorry, baby. I got tied up at work.” John kissed her passionately, not a normal after work kiss, but an eager one with tongue and all.
“I can’t stay mad at you.” Fawne slid her arm around his waist and headed to his car with him. “Which hotel are we going to tonight?”
“Days.” he winked, after nearly six months of seeing each other she knew his patterns. An eager kiss hello meant a hotel room. He had never pretended to love her, but she knew that if he wanted her that he must. He just hadn’t told her yet. “You taking the vitamins I gave you?”
“Everyday.” The seatbelt cut into her stomach, but she tried to ignore it. John always made her buckle up.
“That’s good.” John’s face lit up each time they passed under a street light, and Fawne wondered what he was worried about. She could see tension that hadn’t been there before. Maybe he was worried about the baby, or her living conditions, she tried not to mention much about her life back home. Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" came to a sudden stop as Fawne slid a mixed tape into the cassette player and replaced the mellow ballad with Berlin's "Metro."
“You okay, Johnny?” Fawne asked tapping her feet to her favorite song, calling him the pet name that made her feel like he was all hers’.
“I’m fine, Fawne.” John pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and headed inside to pay while Fawne waited for her cue. He would take his jacket off and fix his hair when it was time for her to come in, he would meet her in the elevator.
She watched as John slid his credit card and signed his name. She had a perfect view of the lobby. Fawne loved John with all of her heart, and knew that he would take care of her and her baby. He was a good man, even if she did meet him at bars and shady hotels, she knew a good man when she saw one. John gave the signal and she opened the heavy car door, ready to find safety in John’s older and wiser arms. She would be seventeen in a week, and couldn’t wait to see what he would get for her. Something fancy she was sure.
The elevator doors closed around them, and John pulled her close for a quick kiss. “I love you, Johnny.” Fawne wrinkled her nose and giggled at the sound of it. She felt so grown up.
Before he could answer the doors opened and they followed the carpeted path to room 312. She knew the routine and began to undress as soon as the door clicked shut behind them. “No, wait.” John stopped her as she unbuttoned her oversized shirt.
“What?” Fawne was confused. She thought that people who loved each other had sex.
“I brought you here to talk.” John sat on the edge of the rose covered comforter.
“Oh, to talk.” Fawne sat down beside him and stared down at her dirty keds. John had never wanted to talk before, even when she asked him about his life and career, he never had anything to say.
“Fawne baby, I can’t see you anymore.” He didn’t waste time or puff it up with faux regret.
“What do you mean? We’re having a baby.” Fawne stood up and stared down at the man who she thought was hers’ to keep. She didn’t understand and decided that he must be joking.
“I can’t see you anymore. I don’t know quite how to say it, but my brother and his wife confronted me last night about you. They saw us together, and I just can’t do this.” John was lying, but he knew she wouldn’t be able to take the fact that he was just done with her. She was young and wouldn’t understand. He never planned on marrying the poor girl, he was already married. She knew that from the start, but he had apparently let things go on for too long. He wasn’t even completely convinced that the baby was his. There was no way that a girl a beautiful as Fawne was only with him.
Fawne fell to her knees and begged him to change his mind. What would she do without him? She clutched her belly and watched as his mouth moved but she didn’t hear a word he said.
“Fawne, I can’t keep sneaking around. I’ll give you money to take care of the baby. I just can’t risk getting caught, it would ruin my career.” John was telling the truth now.
“Please!”
“I’m sorry.” John watched as she begged, but there was nothing he could do. He was through with her. With enough money, he could clean up the mess he made. He could help her get back on the right track.
“Please, no, please!” she felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. What was she going to do? She couldn’t raise a baby on her own. She was only sixteen!
“Check out is tomorrow at eleven,” John squatted down in front of his young lover and slid a one hundred dollar bill into her shirt pocket. “You can call a taxi and this should give you enough money for food and other things you’ll need for the baby. I’ll keep sending money.”
Fawne nodded, her head was in a fog. She watched as John put his long overcoat on and headed out into the dimly lit hall. Johnny didn’t love her, after all. He was no better than her own father who ran out on her mama when Fawne was four years old. He was no better than her mama who ran out when she was seven. John walked away without looking back, and Fawne realized for the first time that he didn’t say he loved her back because he didn’t. And now she was stuck with his baby.
