Fawne
Fawne slept in a recliner because of her heart burn. Her growing baby kicked non-stop and she couldn’t sleep. She could hear her grandpa snoring on the couch where he slept and covered her ear. The clothes that she had swiped from John along the way were getting tighter, reminding her how long it had been since he left her high and dry.
“Poppy!” she threw the remote, hoping that the sound would wake him up. She never thought she would share a room with her seventy five year old grandpa, but here she was for the third night in a row. The little single wide trailer only had two bedrooms, and her grandpa hadn’t slept in an actual bed in years. Come to think of it she couldn’t remember her grandpa ever sleeping in the bedroom. When he felt like cuddling he invited her grandmother out to join him. Even if Fawne moved her green recliner into her little bedroom, she would still be able to hear him snoring, so she didn’t waste the energy.
She kept hoping that John would pop back up in her life, but it hadn’t happened yet. She sat in the same bars waiting on him, but he never came. In four months she would have a baby, and still had no idea what to do about it. She knew she wasn’t ready, knew somewhere in the back of her mind that John was long gone, and knew that her grandparents’ social security checks would not be enough to raise a baby. She had to come up with a plan!
The guidance counselor at school gave Fawne a pamphlet about adoption when her belly first started getting round, and Fawne had stuffed it in her book bag. She climbed out of the recliner and dug through her book bag-- knowing that it was in there somewhere. “Here it is.” Fawne headed into the kitchen and turned the light above the little stove on. After scanning the impossibly long pamphlet, Fawne decided that adoption was the path that she would chose. She would call the number on the back soon.
Climbing back into the chair, Fawne thought of John. She latched onto him immediately and their very first kiss sent her spiraling out of control. She felt special-- the recipient of an older man’s attention. He must have been at least fifty. Fawne thought for sure that he loved her, but it was starting to look like he never had. Every other boy she had ever slept with told her they loved her, maybe she was stupid to assume that John did too.
***
“Granny, could you buy me some prenaval vitamins?” Fawne stepped into her grandmother’s room, the elderly lady was at her sewing machine hemming a pair of blue jeans.
“Naval? I think you mean natal, Fawne.” Her grandmother laughed and then coughed for awhile.
“Whatever they’re called, I ran out.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Her grandma’s voice was gruff, audible congested proof of the countless cigarettes she had smoked throughout the years.
“Thanks,” Fawne headed out into the living room to watch MTV. Her grandfather was outside in the yard talking to a friend, so she could watch what she wanted. Even when they didn’t have food on the table, they had cable. Fawne stood up and danced along with Billy Idol and sang “Dancing With Myself.” She might be pregnant, but she was still a seventeen year old at heart.
The adoption pamphlet was burning a hole in her pocket, but she didn’t want to call the number while her grandparents’ were home. Maybe she could call it from school on Monday. Fawne was more than ready to be done with pregnancy and all that it included, and adoption was going to hand her back her life, just in time for her senior year of high school. Fawne was going to go to college and be the first one in her family to graduate! Fawne was going to show John, whatever his last name was, what he was missing out on!
“Stop jumping on the couch!” her grandma scorned from the doorway of the bedroom. “You know Poppy’d have a fit if you broke his bed.”
