Sarah
Clinton’s face was soft and handsome as he dreamed. She knew that he was coming around when he returned home after a long day of work with a teddy bear for their imminent bundle of joy. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Oh, I thought you were asleep.”
“I was. But I’m awake now.” Clinton sat up and looked at the clock. “Can’t sleep?”
“Not really.”
“Want to try for a baby?” Clinton winked and kissed Sarah’s neck.
“Why not just make love like we used to? We don’t need to try for a baby anymore.” Her eyes closed as she savoured the sensation of his lips. It had been awhile since she had enjoyed sex. For a year it revolved around sperm and eggs instead of love and desire.
Clinton, who was more than thrilled about the chance to forget babies, just couldn’t forget babies. Now more than ever he wanted his little fellows to swim for their lives. He didn’t want to adopt a child, he wanted to Father one. As Sarah let loose and finally just gave into the overwhelming love that she felt for her high school sweetheart, he prayed for a miracle. He prayed, for the first time since the whole process began, that his wife would get pregnant.
Clinton wasn’t sure why he was so opposed to adopting, but something about it scared him. He ran through the lists of reasons why people give their children up, and knew that most of the reasons were things that compromised his future child’s DNA. Drugs, poverty, promiscuity, poor health-- no matter what the reason, he didn’t see it ending well. Clinton did not want someone else’s baby. He looked down at his wife, so beautiful and innocent, so passionate about motherhood, something she had only seen through the veil of her permanent pair of rose colored glasses. She didn’t know what she was getting herself into. She didn’t realize, but he just couldn’t make himself break her heart. So instead of telling her that he would never adopt a baby, he closed his eyes, and prayed for offspring.
“That was amazing!” Sarah whispered, holding Clinton close to her. She didn’t want to let go.
“It was.” Clinton rolled over and went to sleep. He hoped that he had accomplished his goal, but only time would tell.
Sarah still couldn’t sleep. She spent the last year waiting for a positive pregnancy test result, and now she was still waiting. Sarah was waiting for a phone call. Every time the phone rang, Sarah knew that she was one phone call closer to being a Mommy.
“I bought you something…” Clinton home late after closing on a house.
“You did?” Sarah looked up from the magazine that she was reading, and held out her hands. She couldn’t wait to see what he got for their future baby this time. After four teddy bears, she hoped it would be something a little different.
“Here.” Clinton set a pregnancy test in her open hands.
“What?” Sarah jumped and threw her hands up like he had just handed her a slug or a used tissue.
“I just thought after the other night, that you might need it. Sometimes the stress of trying to get pregnant stops people from getting pregnant…” Clinton wanted her to take the test. Every time the phone rang he knew that they were just a little closer to an abandoned baby. “Maybe since the stress is gone?”
“No!” Sarah couldn’t believe her husband and felt like crying. She wasn’t pregnant. She was infertile. The pregnancy test on the floor in front of her felt like a slap in the face.
“It was just an idea.”
“A bad one.” Sarah who was usually nice no matter what, was angry enough to snap at Clinton. He was taken aback, picked up the test, and headed into the kitchen to warm the plate that she had left for him. If she was pregnant, they weren’t going to find out tonight. It was probably to soon to tell anyway.
